Why Do I Spend Hours Looking for the Best Option? (FOBO)

Apparently not. There’s even a name for it: FOBO, or Fear of Better Options. Of course there is.

Today, we’re talking about FOBO and how it can make life a little more complicated than it needs to be. But before we go any further, I should probably introduce myself. The little voice talking to you is Laureline. I’ve been designing Jomo since 2022. Yes, for the past four years, my job has been to help you take back control of your screen time and support you along the way.

If that sounds like something you need, get comfortable and enjoy the read ☕️

What Is FOBO?

Fear of Better Options is the fear of missing out on the best possible choice. You keep thinking there must be something better out there, so you spend hours comparing everything, worried you’ll pick the wrong option and regret it later.

The term was popularized by Patrick McGinnis, who also coined its better-known cousin, FOMO, or Fear of Missing Out. At its heart, FOBO means putting off a decision because a better possibility might still be out there.

And you don’t need a thousand alternatives to get stuck. A handful can be enough. The difficulty is making a choice and feeling confident that you’ve made the best one. It overlaps with what psychologists call maximizing: searching for the best possible option.

FOBO vs. FOMO: What’s the Difference?

Their acronyms are only one letter apart, but they describe different worries.

• FOMO, or Fear of Missing Out, is the feeling that other people are having amazing experiences without you. That you’re missing THE event, THE party, THE thing everyone will be talking about. It can come with an almost irresistible urge to check what everyone else is doing, especially on social media, just to make sure nothing too exciting is happening without you.

• FOBO, or Fear of Better Options, focuses more on the decision itself. You worry about committing to one choice when another might turn out to be better.

Of course, the two can feed each other. Say you’re on vacation, looking for a restaurant. You find somewhere that looks perfectly good. But then you see a Story from an influencer you love recommending another place nearby. You check Google Maps and find thirty five-star restaurants. Then a TikTok tells you about ten places you absolutely cannot miss.

Now choosing feels impossible. And on top of that, you start thinking about all the people who might try those restaurants while you miss out on something incredible.

How Can I Tell If I’m Stuck in FOBO?

First, a little reassurance: FOBO isn’t a medical diagnosis. It’s a name for a pattern of indecision that you might recognize in your own habits.

Here are a few signs to look out for:

• You keep searching even after finding something that meets your criteria: price, location, design, comfort, or whatever matters to you.

• You compare everything, often across several different apps and websites.

• You keep postponing the decision so you can gather more information and compare a little longer.

• You’ve already chosen, but you still check the alternatives to reassure yourself that you made the right call.

So far, that might not sound too worrying. You just want the best for yourself. Fair enough. But there’s a trap.

The best option on paper isn’t necessarily the one that makes you happiest. In a study published in 2006, researchers followed students as they searched for jobs. Those with stronger maximizing tendencies landed jobs with starting salaries that were 20% higher, on average, than those with lower maximizing tendencies.

Great, right? Well, they were also less satisfied with the jobs they got and experienced more negative emotions during the search. A better salary didn’t automatically mean a better experience.

Art by Vishesh

Then there’s something that happens to me all the time: you spend so long looking that you end up choosing nothing at all. Or the opportunity disappears while you’re still comparing. Having a choice gives us freedom. Too much choice can make that freedom hard to use.

And finally, there’s the hidden cost: your time. Ten minutes here, half an hour there, maybe a whole hour. It doesn’t always feel like much in the moment. But once you start adding it all up, it becomes a lot.